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Cinema Eaters

We watch crap so you don't have to.

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Wikipedia defines 'sin-eater' thusly:

A person who, through ritual means and for material gain, would take on the sins of a dying person, thus absolving the dying of their sins while receiving the burden of the same.


For our purposes, then, a cinema eater is a person who, through ritual means though not for material gain, will take on the sins of bad movies, thus absolving the readership of having to watch said movies, while receiving the burden of the same.

We're Heath Ledger in The Order, only with Netflix accounts and an attitude.




The premise is simplicity itself:

(1) We put up a list of five bad movies in a poll. You vote for which bad movie you'd like to see us suffer through review. Top two movies win.

(2) You vote on which of us (that would be murnkay and me, robyn_ma) has to review which movie.

(3) We Netflix said movies, endure them, and report back here with our findings. You point and laugh at us. We grumble and mourn the lost minutes of our lives we will never, ever get back.

(4) Sometimes reviews are slightly delayed by Ninja attacks.




If you care to, you may suggest bad movies for our perusal by commenting to this post.




REVIEWS:

BloodRayne (murnkay)
The Boogens (robyn_ma)
Children of the Corn: Revelation (robyn_ma)
Chopper Chicks in Zombietown (robyn_ma)
Crossroads (murnkay)
Cutie Honey (Live Action) (murnkay)
The Devil's Rain (murnkay)
Domino (comic-strip review by murnkay and Travis 'Zero' Ingram)
Frog-g-g! (murnkay)
Godzilla Vs. Mechagodzilla (guest reviewer geekwomans)
Humanoids from the Deep (1980) (robyn_ma)
Incubus (robyn_ma)
Kingdom of the Spiders (robyn_ma)
Maniac Nurses Find Ecstasy (murnkay)
Mansquito (murnkay)
Man-Thing (murnkay)
Omen IV: The Awakening (murnkay)
Poison Ivy: The New Seduction (robyn_ma)
Police Academy 7: Mission to Moscow (murnkay)
Prison-a-Go-Go! (murnkay)
R. Kelly's Trapped in the Closet (murnkay)
Scooby-Doo Meets Batman; The Batman Vs. Dracula (robyn_ma)
Shark Attack 3: Megalodon (robyn_ma)
Ultraviolet (murnkay)
Underworld: Evolution (robyn_ma)
Vampyros Lesbos (robyn_ma)
War of the Worlds (2005) (murnkay)
X-Men: The Last Stand (murnkay)
Zombie Lake (robyn_ma)

150 BOTTLES OF BAD ON THE WALL:

• Part 1: The Incredible Petrified World (murnkay)
• Part 2: Queen of the Amazons (murnkay)
• Part 3: Robot Monster (murnkay)
• Part 4: She Gods of Shark Reef (murnkay)
• Part 5: The Amazing Transparent Man (murnkay)

ESSAYS AND MISCELLANY:

MST3K, Bad Movies, and You (murnkay)
The Worst Movie Ever Made: The Long, Strange Journey of Manos: The Hands of Fate (Entertainment Weekly article)
Jaime Pressly (New Yorker profile)
Love Theme from Mansquito (written by robyn_ma, performed by murnkay)
Series, Deep Sequels, and the Decline (robyn_ma)

BAD CAREER SPOTLIGHTS:

Eric Roberts (1/27/06)
Ione Skye (2/2/06)
Ally Sheedy (2/9/06)
Chris O'Donnell (2/17/06)
Judd Nelson (2/25/06)
Minnie Driver (3/4/06)
Christian Slater (3/13/06)








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